


Sing me to sleep

by Autistic_council_spectre



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Nonbinary Character, Other, Panic Attacks, What else is new?, Zander is a hot mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-20 22:38:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17631047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Autistic_council_spectre/pseuds/Autistic_council_spectre
Summary: People die, people die more when there's robots that are literally built for your murder. Doesn't make it hurt any less.aka Zan is a hot mess and blames themselves for people dying during the reaper attacks





	Sing me to sleep

Everything was far too much at all once. Overwhelmed, overstimulated, drowning in a guilt that they knew logically made no sense but it clawed at their throat anyways. It was a fire in their veins and a pounding in their head.  _ Your fault, your fault, your fault. Everything's always your fault. They're going to all die because you're a FUCK UP. _

 

The door slid open and there was. Shouting, it sounded alarmed. That was unfortunate. 

 

Someone's hands were on their wrists then, tugging them away from where they clawed at their chest and throat. Big, rough hands. Familiar hands. The someone was saying things but they couldn't  _ understand _ , couldn't breathe. They could just shake. Let out weak keening whines and thrash in their grip. 

 

_Stop, don't touch me, I'm.filthy and I'll just make you dirty too, stop it stop it stopst_ ** _opstopstop_** _. I'm a monster_ ** _don't_** **_touch me_** _._

 

Someone was snarling, not them surely, humans. Humans can't make those noises? Right?

 

The hands squeezed harder, hard as they could without breaking their wrists and it was so. It hurt, it hurt but it was grounding and oh. 

 

It was a sharp point of pain for them to focus on and come back from that shaky distraught place so slowly. Long agonizing minutes, hours? They didn't know. But it hurt. 

 

And it was. Oh. Garrus was the one holding their wrists. He was looking at them with such concern, such love, it made their chest  _ ache _ . “...okay baby?” It took them a long moment to register that words were being said at them. 

 

When they did register the words they rocked and pitched themselves against his chest, earning a surprised little sound and his hands moving to hold their shoulders instead. “'M okay. Sor-”

 

“ _ Don't _ .” He had a tone and a Look so they. They flinched back sharp and distressed which made it worse they wanted to apologize more, wanted to make it okay. Instantly he softened and scrambled to hold their wrists again (oh he could wrap one hand around them that was. Hm. Hmmm.) and cup their face. “Oh fuck Zander  _ I'm _ sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. That came out worse than I meant it to fuck. Let me..let me.” 

 

It did, they wanted to say. It was mean and they were already so shaky it was  _ rude _ . “You don't..need to apologise to me okay?” He was looking at them with those big ol eyes, eyes they looked everywhere but at. “I don't want you tearing yourself up and and thinking you have to beg my forgiveness or anything for having a  _ panic attack _ .” 

 

“...but I like beggin.” That got a long drawn out groan before he bumped his head against theirs. 

 

“You're. You're _absolutely_ **_incorrigible_**. Here I am, calming down my datemate from an attack. As a good boyfriend does.(“a wonderful boyfriend” they chimed in) Yes, absolutely, the most wonderful boyfriend.” Slowly they wiggled their way into his lap, careful, gentle, their muscles and chest hurt. So did their head. “And _what_ do I get in return? _What_ is it you give me?”

 

“Loooove.” A lil lick to a mandible, a huffed out laugh as he pulled them closer, so gentle. 

 

“Well yes that too. But I also get them making _kink_ _jokes at me._ Don't you, don't you say those letters I know you want to.” 

 

“u. w. u.” 

 

“......I'm divorcing you and taking the cats with me.”

 

“You don't even know what a cat is!” He laughed so much, a good wonderful laugh, and they kissed him. On the chest, on the mandible, on the cheek before giving him a kiss on the mouth. “You love me.” 

 

“Unfortunately yes, I do.” 

 

“Because you have awful taste.” Warm arms held them and oh they were so sleepy then. They hadn't had an attack that bad in so long they...forgot how draining it was. 

 

They were gently laid on the bed, making a brief distressed keen as Garrus turned to leave that was soothed with a gentle kiss and bite. He came back just a moment later from the closet with about a million pillows. Or more like ten. 

 

The pillows were ceremoniously strewn about to make a proper nest to lay in before he joined them in their bed. They, of course, became but a simple leech and latched directly to his torso as one does. His hands were gentle on their side and in their hair as they slowly, so slowly relaxed and drifted off to sleep. 

 

Garrus for his part was as always amazed at how...calm they looked asleep. The stress melted away and they looked so at peace.

 

His heart was filled with so much love for this positive wreck of a human, and they were  _ his _ wreck. Eventually he joined them in resting. A hand curled around their waist through the night to keep them safe and secure. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> me? coping with paranoia with 3am angst/comfort fics? its more likely than you think


End file.
